What I need is a “Sorts Replacement Store” but I haven’t run across one yet.
I’ve been out of sorts as of late, which might be affecting my view of things in general. Imagine that. All I know is my Irritation Meter levels have been a tad high. Best to leave me alone when I’m grumpy.
Happiness, however, keeps smacking me in the face (if happiness makes its appearance with a smack) trying to get my attention. For example,
- I was asked (out of the blue) to join a group to study The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.
- I went to a “Restoring Balance” luncheon at the Seton Cove (www.setoncove.net) and the topic speaker Joe Barry had selected was, of course, “Happiness.”
Even my sometimes-surly cat has more of a Cheshire-grin look about him these days.
I am curious why the subject of happiness won’t leave me alone and what it’s trying to tell me. I can hear myself whining, “If only ______ would happen, then I’d be happy.” If only my (friend, spouse, co-worker, child, boss, government, finances, fill in the blank) would change in the way that I want them to, then I’d be happy.
Hmm. Have I put my happiness on hold for things beyond my control?
Have you been out of sorts? Have you put your happiness on hold?
So what to do when we’re out of sorts and there’s no Sorts Replacement Store? How do we stop acting like victims waiting for things to change?
Please feel free to share your comments or thoughts.
Mike Dooley (www.tut.com) has an answer I like:
It’s as if everyone has a built-in, happiness-now
button, which can instantly change how they feel,
no matter what’s going on in their lives.
But for many, most of the time,
they prefer not to push it.
Go on, push it real good –
The Universe
Here’s an Invitation:
If you’re in the Austin area and want to join us for a look at happiness at the May Re-Story Circles, you’ll find more information at https://www.jeanneguy.com/re-story-circles/
Hope to see you either Wednesday, May 9 (North Austin) or Monday, May 14 (South Austin) One evening just for you, to take time to be in meaningful dialogue with yourself and with others. I hope you’ll decide to join us. Who knows, you might just find a few sorts… https://www.jeanneguy.com/re-story-circles/
Jeanne, I am very interested in this but I cannot determine which location would be better. I would prefer the Monday night time slot. I hope I am not too late. Please let me know the availability and method of paying. Thank you. Teddy
Teddy –
I’ll happily put you down for the Monday night Re-Story Circle. I’ll send you the info via email.
I’ve had a couple of near brushes with happiness of late. I was driving on I-45 to do a job I didn’t care about when suddenly, on a toll road no less, I had about four minutes of drive-by bliss. It was physical, emotional, spiritual all rolled into something that put in me in the suburbs of serenity. It was appetizer of what I’ve looked for all my life, mostly in the wrong places. But it was real and transforming. Now, I’d like a full-course meal.
I’m not driving toll roads hoping such serenity will strike again, but at least I know it’s possible and that gives me hope. So did the unexpected joy I felt at my high school reunion two weekends ago. And the many affirmations I continue to get from my parenting book.
I need to remember those glowing moments and be grateful when I start comparing myself with twenty-somethings and doing a head to toe renovation on myself as I stand under hot, clean water in a house that nine-tenths of the world would die for. Literally.
I can’t be happy in the past or in the future; I have a claim on neither. Only today.
Only this minute. Only now.
Jim –
Thanks for the good words. You are right – and glad you have your hand on the happiness-now button.
Happiness is a moment by moment by moment experience. We can not hold onto it, except for the expression of it in our hearts. It is not tangible as holding a rock in the palm of your hand.
By nature, we seek to obtain that which we do not have, or feel, at the moment. Society follows the crowd and not the inner knowing that holds all the gifts we seek, which is found purely in the heart where love resides. Take time to clear, breathe, and feel the love in your heart open like the lotus blossom. There, lies your happiness.
Well, Eana, you sure had an inspired moment! Thanks for your good thoughts and let’s all keep creating that space and breathing – moment by moment.
I think part of my happiness is connected to letting go of my fear of the F-word (no, not that one; “FUTURE”). In my favorite thrift store, a framed piece of art said, “The best thing about the future is it comes one day at a time.” I may go back today and buy that!
Barbi –
Your comments about the FUTURE brought me right back into THIS moment which is what the multiple replies I’m receiving are all pointing to. Thanks for putting a positive spin on the letter F…
Don’ts……..
I think it must be that half century mark. You ladies know what I mean. Hot flashes, temper tantrums, by the way kicking your vacuum cleaner never works….results in bruised toe and lost toenail…Oh well, never paint them anyway :).
Do’s….. Stand in front of the mirror and smile at yourself. It may take a few minutes but you will feel the smile startup inside and spread to your eyes – the soul of your persona. Feelings of happiness soon follow. If that fails, buy a punching bag. Much easier on your body parts. 🙂
Smile at others. Sometimes a smile aimed at someone with a frown as you are passing them on the street, causes them to smile back and reverse their bad mood.
Put a “smile” in your voice when speaking with others. You’d be surprised at the results.
Help others whenever possible which naturally promotes a feeling of happiness and well being in yourself and can change that person’s world.
Well that’s my worldly wisdom for the day. Now go smile at someone. 🙂
Can you see me smiling??
Happy early birthday!
I like the smiling. I will smile and sometimes say hello to perfect strangers on the street because it make me feel good, esp when they light up their eyes and smile back.
Yes, in some countries, cultures, only the insane do that. Tough shit. I’m an adult now and I’ll smile and say hello whenever I damn well pls.
I also eat dessert for breakfast when I choose.
Thanks Jeanne!!
I find the most happiness when I stop listening to everyone else [especially crazy people in some delusional state or denial of some problem] and do the the things I want to do in the ways I want to do them for my own enjoyment. Focusing on the tasks at hand, being mindful of the present, and enjoying the journey instead of racing to get to some destination. Right mind, right effort. Be still and listen.
I want you to know right now, in my right mind and with right effort, I am being still and listening (but only to those I consider non-delusional, of course).
I watch my words, words like “Yes, but..”, “..should…” and of course the familiar “If only….” Then I get moving — swimming, cycling, walking — just get moving. I think better when I’m moving. When I’m swimming I can’t think at all, just have all these directions on how to swimming talking in my head that drown out the ‘sorts’.
Sometimes I will pull out a notebook and start planning a project. Usually a project that will never get done, but again it causes me to focus on something creative. Sometimes I’ll write down a tale from my parents’ youth or even mine and send it to the kids. My youth doesn’t seem so odd to me but to my grandkids it is — and a short note is so much easier to write than planning an essay. Again, it causes me to focus on something creative. To edit, prune, reshape.
I have fewer great highs, fewer great big belly laughs. I don’t know why. I was grinning ear to ear when I finished the MS 150 but most of my good ‘sorts’ are more mellow, more of a chuckle or a smile. That’s ok. I have fewer grumpies now too.
Oh, Katie, how I love the spontaneity of your response – active and creative. I’m also in favor of more chuckles and fewer grumpies for everyone.
A great comment from my friend Dan Bullock…
At one of my first Seton Cove programs I sat next to one of the senior leaders (aka nuns, sisters, Daughters, if you will). I forget what the theme was, but at some point I turned and asked her ” how do you seek happiness?” She smiled and responded, “I don’t. I seek peace of mind. Happiness is too fleeting, too dependent on short-term stimuli. Peace of mind is more substantive, lasting.”…..I’ve remembered that…..
Go see “Bernie”…
Love and Hugs!…..D
So, ya got me, and my sorts. Your message made me look closer at my sorts, the out- ofs (long list) and the inners (too short). So at sunrise (5:30) today, Trooper and I ignored the usual do-list, and instead sat in the back yard, watched my morning glory vines twining upward, and contemplated the July arrival of showers and showers of heavenly blue flowers. Happiness settled over us quickly, so tomorrow we’ll sit on the front porch and contemplate the August arrival of too-big-to-be-believed Russian sunflowers. Guess there are times when one just needs to ‘grow something’.
Love ya, Joanne
This makes me so happy, so content…you are a continual blessing in my life.
This wonderful thought came from Lisa Soileau, massage therapist extraordinaire:
Jeanne,
In chinese medicine… spring time is affiliated with the liver meridian whose emotion is anger when out of balance.. . if my memory serves me, creative expression helps to bring it into balance.
I like thinking of that when I am cranky and hot as it is, it is still spring.
Lisa Soileau BA,LMT
Integrative Massage Therapy
From my friend, Mary…
Happy for the No Reason…. Marci Shimoff
http://www.happyfornoreason.com/Home.asp
Love it love it love it….. saw her speak in Austin, love it even more.
I am so lucky. You always push my happiness button just when it needs pushing