“It’s such a simple thing, but in a moment of ego we refuse to put down what we carry in order to open the door.”
– Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening
Do you know when it is time to let go of the baggage you carry, the wounds you hang on to or the resentments you continue to wear like an old worn-out coat? And if that time is now, how do you do that? Where is the balm needed to help us move forward in our lives?
I have a compassionate smorgasbord of suggestions for you but better that I tell you a story and you’ll get the message:
Don’t faint but I did some baking recently. I’m in the kitchen and it’s just me and the cookie dough ingredients. Instead of enjoying creating something, I’m stirring the ingredients with a little too much effort. The poor batter was taking a beating because I was in a snit; I was the one who was stirred up over something, replaying it in my head. Somebody had done something to set me off and I was going over it and over it and, yeah, over it. And, of course, now I can’t even tell you what had my knickers in a twist.
The good news is I caught myself. As I stared into the mixing bowl and watched as the ingredients started to get smooth and creamy, I realized the irritating dialogue in my head that had me all stirred up wasn’t real. It was just in my head. All that was real were two things: 1) me standing in the kitchen creating cookie dough, and 2) the ingredients in the bowl.
A new voice in my head, a compassionate voice, talked me down off the ledge. I let go of whatever wound I was replaying, whatever grievance I was rehearsing and focused on breathing and enjoying the moment. And would you believe it, it worked.
I’ve been looking at loosening my grip on old patterns and wounds, and choosing a self-loving and healthier path for this New Year by focusing on my behavior rather than focusing on the wound. I’ve put some small doable daily practices in place to that end. I’m also in the middle of a 4-week telecourse with my friend Renee Trudeau entitled “Learning to Go With the Flow” because I know this “letting go” stuff is what I need. (http://www.newwayofbeing.net/).
What’s going on inside of your head that you could let go of? What if you put a small doable daily practice into place, like focusing on something you enjoy rather than rehearsing a grievance in your head? Now that’s worth a deep breath and a moment of calm each day, n’est pas?
And call me if you end up baking something really good. I’ll share my cookies.
Hello be-loved Jeanne
I love remembering our history together. AND we get to let go. My “history” with you is quite wonderful, dear heart!!! I love what you are creating with your life. AND I am loving my creations within the mystery they are. Uncover uncover uncover —how much fun is that. The onion becomes smaller and reveals much stinky goodness. As I let go of the habit of being myself. I am workin’ that book and am so grateful we are all becoming real. I think its called recalabration. Here is to NOW creations and transmutation. Love love love, Magdalaena
Magda – you are a one of a kind. This world would not have been the same without you and your incredible love. Thanks for staying connected.
Sometimes it seems easier to hang on to that hurt, grievance or wrong than it is to face it and say to it “Go away.” They really will move on so you can focus on what is good about yourself. You’ll see what others see in you and learn to love yourself as others love you.
Mary Ann – beautifully said. Thanks.
I spoke about reframing old wounds last night in a story telling environment. I want to re-story, re-frame, and bless the grief that has been holding me down for so many years. Thank you for the affirmation that I am indeed in the right track. I prefer to be in it, rather than on it.
Hmm. IN the right track, rather than on it. I like that, Carol. Similar to the “being in the flow” telecourse I’m taking now with Renee Trudeau. Thanks for YOUR affirmation.
Love it! And, I love you….you’re wonderful.
Love is a good thing. That’s why I’ve been lucky enough to have you as a friend for over (OMG) 50 years. How blessed could any one person be…
Jeanne,
I have so much to let go of (e.g., the victim mentality, the old injuries and traumas). I’m so sick of them, yet I share them with each new person I meet. It’s a test to see if they will still like me, after they know all this old crap about me. I would love to let go of ALL of it!
I love your story! Of course you are wonderful and amazing and so together! I love you anyway!
Leslie – thanks for your insights. Let’s both pretend we have it “so together” and maybe we’ll start believing it and let go of the old crap! Hugs to you.
Once again, dear Jeanne, you have come to my aid. I believe you must be psychic! These past few weeks I have been chewing around on stuff that isn’t nearly as good as cookies….wrestling in my mind, repeating it, and even though trying to do yoga and exercise etc., I still didn’t have it licked. So, there you are with your serendipitous way, helping me find the REAL importance of the moment. Thank you again. You always come through when I need you the most!
…As you have always done for me. Funny how love works that way. I had hesitated sending out my cookie example because it might seem so silly to some readers. But apparently, considering the response, people could relate. A woman at the Metropolitan Breakfast Club this morning also commented that it came at just the right time for her. You all are pushing my happy buttons!
Another timely piece, well done (like your cookies)! In a January blog by Donna Sapolin, she wrote about her reaction to a project of photos of ‘senior’ dogs by Nancy LaVine . Donna wrote, “It occurred to me while immersing myself in LeVine’s stunning work with aging canines, that it may be worth our while to consider these six key characteristics all dogs possess — they might help us make the most of time’s passage.
1. They live now, without regard for what came before or what lies ahead.
2. They never stop expressing love and devotion.
3. They never cop out of doing what they love to do — eating, licking, nuzzling, running, jumping, playing — with a stick, ball, Frisbee or other toy.
4. They don’t use physical ailments as a way to get attention or get out of doing things. And remedies for them either work or they don’t; there’s no ‘mind game’ involved.
5. They do as much as they can for as long as they can.
6. They don’t fear death. Worries about “the end” or “decline” don’t get in the way of living.
Amen, Barbi. Makes me want to get a dog (or be a dog) or at the very least, have my cats read the blog and follow suit.