“When we’re forcing or resisting, we’re pushing the whole system—
our bodies and everything around us—out of balance.”
— Sarah Susanka
The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters
Here I sit, heating pad on my hip flexor muscle and resting (resting, people, not resisting). Sometimes I get too excited about this wonderful gift of life and overdo it a bit…you know, take on more than I can handle, bite off more than I can chew. It’s the difference between going with the flow or getting caught up in the rapids.
Catch my drift? Sometimes full speed ahead ain’t so great.
My biggest challenge right now is “to use discernment to determine what requires some planning and what can be allowed to unfold,” which author Sarah Susanka addresses in The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters.
On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® I’m a “J” which means I’m perfect. Okay, maybe not perfect but close enough. It actually references my decision-making preference (ahem, it doesn’t mean I’m judgmental). As a “J” I like a certain amount of planning and order in my outer life. I confess I lean toward making that all too important all too often. I like to know the outcome—the destination.
Author Susanka says, “We assume that what’s important is the movement downstream—the destination—when in fact it’s the involvements with ourselves and with one another in each new moment that really matter, that bring satisfaction and meaning into our lives.”
Oh.
Apparently, as a result of my overdoing it, my hip flexor let me know I wasn’t in the flow; I had pushed the envelope. I seemed to have forgotten: Older equipment needs more care and maintenance (thanks to friend Marcia for that tidbit of wisdom).
If I’m in the rapids and trying to control everything, pushing myself to get things done and overdoing it, my body will run amok and hit the boulders. If I’m time-obsessed, I’m not allowing my creativity—or synchronicities—any room. Being time-obsessed and/or overdoing it knocks me right out of the flow.
After all, when things are allowed to flow, they might just get resolved. “They resolve themselves in the moment and not through planning or trying to take control of the process,” says Susanka.
I think I’ll stay in the flow by relaxing just a bit and allow time for a little maintenance. Would you pass me the heating pad, please?
Where are you in relation to time? Want to join me in the flow?
So glad to find that there’s another “J” out there, especially one that I respect. I’ve been kind of ashamed of my J-ness because it does sound like I would be ultra-judgmental. So, thanks for the validation; I am proud to be in your good company. With regard to my relationship to time etc, I am shooting for making plans but being able to flex around real life. I’m not a fan of the “fly by the seat of your pants” methodology, which is what several of my bosses have seemed to favor. I find that having no plan generally means that less is accomplished, or that un-thought-through actions create needless problems. On the other hand, having too tight a grip on a plan means happy surprises are met with annoyance instead of glee. So, I am back to the ever-elusive search for balance; what’s a “J” to do?
I tried to get your drift, but is was too fast for this old brother. As far as the flow goes, it’s been on the same course for the past 12 years. Doing my best to follow the teachings of our Lord and Savior. My spirit and soul are doing pretty good. Guess what? Your brother loves you very much.
I would LOVE to join you in the flow. I got knocked on my proverbial tusch this week with one of those horrid winter colds. I ended up taking three days off work, getting the university librarians to proctor my mid term, canceling a volunteer opportunity I’d agreed to over a month ago, and generally resting and sleeping, when I wasn’t coughing and blowing my nose.
A big reminder that it’s okay to let others do things for me, ask for help when I need it, and just say “no.” There wasn’t anything I couldn’t get someone else to do. And when I realized I had some “down time,” I thought I could spend it catching up on my writing, or cleaning my office, or tackling the pile of papers, and none of that was I able to do. Instead, I curled up in bed or on the couch with a kitty supervising me and meditated, rested, slept.
In the two days that I’ve reemerged, I’ve sold more books unintentionally just by showing up places, or having conversations, or opening my mail than I did in the past two weeks. Being in the flow and sometimes even adrift turns out ain’t all that bad, after all.
thank you for the message, mrs. J… I was once like you and had deadlines and commitments which I thought were tantamount to my life and success. However, when your body, or my body, or anybody’s body, hits the wall of excess stress, reality can be a real kick in the teeth. I have found that slowing down, daydreaming, and letting things go with the flow are my best and healing friends. So to you, my dearest Jeannie, I truly hope your lesson is learned and you will prosper and flourish with a new attitude. just give yourself a chance and it will all get done.
That first illustration worked “J” with this blog, si? Enjoyable topic, once again!
xoxox
me
Hi Jeanne,
That was beautiful. I hope your rest has paid off in many ways for you. 🙂
My sister Amy Praskac sent me your link. So glad she did!
Thanks for the inspiration.
Have a beautiful day.
Jody