Is thy butt getting sore because you’re on the fence about something or someone? Concerned about your unappreciative boss? Upset over a nasty neighbor? Troubled about a new (or old) relationship? Stuck in a rut?
“What if I told you that your every conflict, disappointment, struggle, or challenge with others and yourself, was merely a manifestation of what’s going on within your own thinking. Would you go there first to fix, mend, and allay?”
~~The Universe (www.tut.com)
Time to clear out that mental clutter and go pull some weeds, preferably your own.
In reading passages in “Courage to Change” I often catch myself thinking this is perfect advice for Susie Q. (or my husband or my best friend or…). Hmm. And why do I think I know what Susie needs? And why is she my focus?
Ah, because I am a teacher, a personal growth teacher. All wise. All knowing. All of life is material for my teaching and my autopilot teacher kicks in. I can hardly help myself – I love my work. I love seeing people wake up to their lives and their possibilities.
All wise and all knowing? I teach people to get in touch with their own wisdom—to practice SELF-love, SELF-care. My job is not to fix them and their job is not to fix other people. Our job is to take a long hard loving look at ourselves. Together we create a space for us to reimagine our own lives through reflective writing and sharing in small Circles of conversation. I’m not talking about being self-absorbed or narcissistic. When you take the reflective time to meet and get to know and love your Self, you can be in the world as your best self, your whole self, sharing your authentic gifts and unique talents.
The garden I need to tend is my own. In doing so, I am not falling prey to the oh-so-easy-to-get-hooked-on distraction of fixing others.
Once there was a woman who decided to tend her own garden. It wasn’t until she focused on her own soil that she saw both the beauty of her garden and the weeds that needed pulling.
Well I’ll be darned. Guess I’ll take care of my weeds and you can go pull your own!
Got any good weed-pulling stories to share?
Many of the weeds in my garden are attracting butterflies! I just announced that I’m leaving my job after over 20 years. Looking forward to the next chapter of unknowing and vulnerability to discover new meaning and significance. Yahoo!
Sandi! Congratulations on not only the transition but the attitude. I’m loving it. Good weeds…
There is a profound thought in my brain somewhere but my weeds are too thick to find it! See you Wed!!
Sometimes a machete is in order. We’ll go together and get through that jungle, okay?!
Will that machete go through my jungle? Going to try and come Wed!
We have several machete choices… I’ll put you on the Wednesday list! Info and directions will be sent tomorrow.
Well, we pulled some of our own weeds at Monday night’s Re-Story Circle and left with better gardens. I thought I’d share (with permission) one attendee’s note of clarity sent to me after our gathering…
“Why DO we weed other people’s gardens?”
Why DO we try to solve other people’s problems?
Why do we have such clarity on how other people should change or how they cause problems!
Is it that we love others and want so much for them to be happy?
Is it that we must fix others to feel a sense of worth?
Is it that we turn into crazy makers so as to avoid what’s really bothering us?
Is it that we can’t face ourselves because it would hurt to much?
What else could it be?
Oh that’s right….I can only answer for me!”
I love those “aha” moments!
Just because I see you all the time doesn’t mean I should forget how much I can learn from you. This topic really spoke to me. If I can only remind myself, the cliche is true–the things that I need to “fix” in others are the things that most need fixing in me. Just ask my kids!